Reflections on the marathon that is writing & self-publishing a fiction novel

As I write, we’re exactly a week away from the arbitrary ‘go live’ date I plugged into Amazon KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) for my Kindle e-book and paperback women’s fiction / family saga novel.

And I have to say…. everything feels a bit…..well, flat. Quiet. Undramatic.

It’s like the anti-climax before the joy of the climax.

I feel like I should be way more excited than I am about my first ever fiction novel finally making its way into the world. After all, it’s only taken 50+ years to percolate through my soul and onto the page.

No big deal, right?

My first assumption about the lack of ‘ta-daaah!’ feeling is that I’m actually just a bit bored with my manuscript. I wrote the first sentences back in 2023 when I was still full-time employed, and I’ve lived with the draft since March of this year. Between then and now a thousand things have happened, starting with printing onto actual paper so I could get my red pen out (always knew there was a bit of teacher in me), and ending with pressing ‘publish now’. It’s all kept me very, very busy.

Who knew the writing was the easy bit?

The post-draft process surprised me; I’ve adored self-editing, proofreading, assembling a team of beta readers, and finding an incredible developmental editor and cover designer. Working on final edits and proofreads has been just as much fun as the writing part. I’m sure my 30 year career in sales and marketing has helped with this, along with my recent foray into freelance work as a copywriter, editor and proofreader.

(By the way, it’s amazing how many things we miss when proofing our own work. My issue isn’t typos or grammar, it’s missing things like not writing the numbers 1-9 as words. Or mixing up my time formats. There’s a reason why we shouldn’t proof our own work, but by this time I’d run out of budget. If you’re kind enough to buy my book after all my moaning here, I’d be grateful for any eagle-eyed spotters please!)

The incredible Jessica Ann (@jessanncreates) and I had a brilliant chat all about the bridge from writing to publishing. You can watch the recording here

But can we just talk about marketing? oh. my. god.

I know… I know… it has to be done as an indie, of course. But for goodness’ sake, it’s all-consuming isn’t it? I’ve been on TikTok since March, and I still hate it with a passion. On the plus side, I’ve made friends with some incredibly kind, knowledgeable authors over there (as I have here on Substack), and I’ve learned so much about the process of writing and publishing, as well as book marketing as a result. It’s just the video thing I don’t like. I’m a writer for a reason, I’m not designed to be front of camera.

I’ve also discovered that if you’re not a genre author, it’s bloody hard work to get any traction on socials. I refuse to shift genres just to please the algo. I am half-arsed about Instagram and don’t even bother with Facebook. I’ve found regular social media to be the total soul-suck I’d always assumed it to be.

(I’m actually a super-outgoing, positive person by the way, despite evidence to the contrary here!)

The next part of my ‘marketing’ plan is to tackle some podcast guesting, and to find some book clubs that might like to read my book (and give it 5 star reviews of course). I might even do some Facebook Ads (after I’ve sold all of my possessions and maybe a kidney). All joking aside, I’d welcome any thoughts on options that have worked well for others.

But, as you can see from my to-do list (pic below) I haven’t got very far with this marketing plan at all. It’s a huge over-statement to even call it a plan!

We’re very light on detail right now.

I also feel like I need a bit of a break. Which is unfortunate, because it’s peak promo time and I can’t be slacking off, not when I’ve put so much work into creating the very best piece of work I possibly can.

Maybe it’s neurodivergent burnout? My auDHD organisation and hyper-focus has got me this far, but now I’m finally starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. It’s the flip-side of the ND coin that will always creep up on me at some point.

Or maybe, just maybe… I’m scared to fail?

Scared that after all the fuss and bluster of putting myself out there and the vulnerability of having others read my work, that it will fall flat and I’ll sell precisely zero copies. Of course, no one except me (and the ‘Zon) would ever know if I did, so it’s a moot point, but I would love for Anne’s story to find its readers. I know they’re out there somewhere.

If the worst happens, I’ll still be super proud of what I’ve achieved, because this has been about more than just making money. In fact, knowing what I think I know about making a living as a fiction author, I’d be stupid not to have other reasons to put pen to paper.

Like so many writers, I write to process my feelings, to get out of my own head, to quieten the rumination. I write because I enjoy creating things for others to read and enjoy. I write because it’s the one thing I know I’m good at.

I love the challenge writing a book presents. It’s a matter of showing up; consistently, word by word. Writing when you feel like it, and when you really don’t (and there have been many days I’d rather have plucked out my own leg hairs, one by one, than sit down to write the next x amount of words!)

But show up you must, until you can finally look in the rear-view mirror and see the fully-formed results of your labours.

As a marathon runner, I see such a similarity between training for 26.2 miles and writing a book. Both require dedication to a goal that’s so far off in the distance it’s impossible to imagine, never mind to see or feel.

With running there’s the shiny medal to hang around your neck when you cross the finish line. Something tangible to admire, to remind you of your achievement when you feel fat, unhealthy and unfit.

The prize for writing is, of course, holding your book in your hands. I can’t wait to see the proof copy of Fragments of Her. To show it to friends and family. It’s my version of the London Marathon medal I worked so hard over so many months to get.

Writing, as with running, is as much about the process (the training if you like) as the outcome of the race. I know I always feel flat after a big race. When you’ve got so used to putting in the long hard training hours, the fleeting nature of the finish line ‘prize’, and that post-race dysphoria can hit hard.

I hope I can one day gather as many physical books to my name as medals that currently adorn my study wall.

If you’d like to support me, you can now buy me a coffee:

Or you can subscribe to Fragments for free:

And last but not least, you can buy my book here:

Next week, on official launch day, I’ll be sharing the first chapter of my book to subscribers.

Wish me luck, and thank you for reading if you made it this far after all my moaning and whingeing.

Love, Sara

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